Kitchen Hack

Cookin' for Dudes: Weight Loss Special - Paprika Pork Chop Salad

Usually when I hear something is good for weight loss or is low cal or some such, I run like hell. Because I know I'm going to be eating some flavorless amalgam of barn sweepings and twigs. And, dude...I just can't. 

I didn't make this to be low calorie. It just turned out that way. Having come to the overdue conclusion that there's waaaaay too much of me to love, I'm okay with it being low cal. It's filling, its vibrant, but it clocks in around 500 calories and it's loaded with healthy nutrients. Best of all, pork is involved. Maybe even better (what's the next level up from "best") This thing took 15 minutes from when I started thinking about it to when I was eating. 

just me and Sous Chef Caya today. I found myself with a couple of pork chops in the fridge, a bunch of veggies and an abiding hunger. 

Caya was so hungry that she'd had enough of the lovey dovey crap on the deck and was looking for a squirrel to kill.

Cookin' for Dudes: An awesome recipe THAT REQUIRES NO COOKING

(Featuring completely unsolicited advice on olive oil)

The scene: it's a beautiful spring/summer day. But it's hot. Really, really hot. Despite that, you and your Best One did something outside and active. Took a run or a bike ride. A hike. Built a gazebo in your backyard. Played with your kids, all of whom are under the age of 10 and, as a result, completely impervious to heat as long as you remember to spray water on them every now and again. 

You're hot. You're sweaty. In a good way. You want a snack. You, dude, probably want chips and guacamole or some other absurdly heavy thing. 'Cause you're a dude. Tougher still, you're an American Dude. And that's how our limited brains work. 

Tell your Best One to get a cold drink and kick back in the shade. You'll be back in 10 minutes (if you move really slow) with something refreshing and restoring. She doesn't believe you but because she loves you, she pretends to. I got something for you that doesn't require any actual cooking. I got something that doesn't require plugging in so much as a blender. 

Cantaloupe with Prosciutto

Cookin' for Dudes: Fast, Easy (but weirdly classy) Lemon Pasta

Long week. Multiple cities. Landed at the airport, got in the car and drove right into the teeth of Friday Rush Hour traffic. By the time I got off the freeway 30 minutes later I'd gone from a rather involved Farro and Breaded Sole thing I had in my head to "screw it, I'm just stopping at the first fast food joint I see". 

And then I thought, "Nah." If I'm gonna try to eat healthier I gotta actually eat healthier and I didn't want a sit down restaurant and I didn't much feel like cooking. Then I remembered this dish. 

It's a standby go-to when I need something fast but I want it to be light and relatively healthy. I'd cook it for Jill from time to time when I'd get back from a week of travel and I was tired and didn't feel like cooking. But, you know what? She'd had a long week, too. She'd been working, too. She was tired, too. And I'd missed the hell out of her and wanted to do something for her. 

Lime-Oregano-Serrano Marinated Grilled Chicken Thighs

This nearly qualifies as a "Cooking for Dudes" entry but breaks the cardinal rule...NO GRILL. So it's a regular entry. That's just the way it's gonna have to be. 

This is, easily, the best thing I've ever created on the grill. By a lot. And it's super simple. 

Behold the ingredient list...

Ingredients
6 boneless skinless chicken thighs
salt and ground black pepper
1 tbsp ancho chili powder
1 tbsp dried mexican oregano
1 serrano chile, minced
1 lime, zested and juiced
¼ cup olive oil
¼ bunch cilantro, chopped
⅛ cup cotija cheese, grated
½ lime to drizzle juice over the top before serving

That's it. And listing stuff like salt and pepper and oil shouldn't even count. 

I'm using chicken thighs in this. The thighs have more fat than the breasts and, as a result, more flavor. By virtue of having more fat they also are more forgiving. While it's possible to cook the beejeesus out of the thigh so that it dries out, it's difficult to do. If you're a hardcore conscientious chicken thigh objector, that's cool. Use breasts. You'll have to increase the cooking time and you'll want to move them over indirect heat about halfway in so it doesn't dry out. 

Cooking for Dudes: Lardon Breakfast Salad w/Maple-Curry Vinaigrette

Okay, dudes. You have committed to fixing your best girl breakfast. Problem is you want bacon and eggs and she wants a salad. You're cooking for her so salad it is. Still, a brother gotta eat so we're gonna get you your bacon and eggs. We're combining those two things into the breakfast version of a peanut butter cup - the best of both worlds. We're gonna have a vibrant, fresh salad with bacon and egg. We're classing it up by using pancetta. And we're topping it with a Maple Syrup (that's for you), Bacon Fat (also for you) Mild Curry (for her) Vinaigrette (it's French, so totally for her).  

This is a salad for two. If you're making it for the whole family, just double it or triple it. Takes 8-10 minutes of prep time and 8-10 minutes of cooking time. 

Cooking for Dudes: Chipotle-Lime Chicken with Red Wine Pan Sauce

I'm going to be erratically posting on the topic of Cooking for Dudes. Because I have learned a great truth. Having this blog and posting cooking stuff on Facebook and, maybe most relevant, having been married to Jill, I've learned something that all my male brethren need to internalize...girls like it when you cook for them. And by cook, I mean, NOT GRILLING. I know, I know. We're guys. We like fire. We get all caveman and science geek when we get outside with a hunk of meat and some flame. We drink beer and fart and hang out with other guys while turning a perfectly good hunk of meat into charcoal and then we douse it with some off the shelf sauce and we call it cooking. 

Here's the thing...your wife, your girlfriend, your significant other...she knows you're doing that for you but you just happened to buy so much meat that you can't help but have some leftover for her and the kids. She pretends not to know that. Because she loves you. And that makes her awesome and is why you should stay with her forever. 

Hoisin Glazed Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Lemon-Miso Grilled Asparagus

Hardcore grillers will tell you any kind of weather is grillin' weather. I've seen my neighbor out firing up some flame in near zero temps. I'm not that brave. Leaving alone for a moment what it may imply about climate change, its April 1st. It's 62 outside. We will be grilling. This is not normal for April 1st. 

Here's the punchline...