Dad

Today, November 26th, 2008, my father died. He was and will remain my hero. Hero is an annoyingly overused word these days. But he's always been mine. Only one I've ever had.

As we're approaching Thanksgiving I guess it's appropriate to give thanks. I'm grateful for a mother with a bottomless reservoir of enduring courage and perseverance. The Stroke Monster had blasted Dad pretty hard over the previous 14 years. Mom never failed to impress me with how she could stay upbeat through it all and how she could sacrifice for Dad.

I'm grateful for my younger brother, Bob and the way he repeatedly stepped into the fray when crises hit regarding my Dad's health and how he brought so much joy through the beautiful bond he formed with Dad.

I'm grateful for my older brother, Rod for a whole passel of reasons. Right now I'm grateful for the way he put my Dad at ease today...a day of agonizing pain for my father as the systems were shutting down...by letting him know that it was alright to stop holding on and stop hurting. That he would take care of the family. It's something that my Dad needed to hear and something he needed to hear from Rod. I'm nuts about my family, always have been. But the way they helped that wonderful man when he most needed it...I guess I'm even nuts-er about them than ever.

Mostly, I'm thankful for winning the paternal lottery. You don't get to pick who your father is. I don't know how I got to score the one I did. I don't mean to be sacrilegious but when I first got hip to the whole all-powerful all-knowing God thing...well...sounded like Dad to me. As I sit here watching the movie in my mind play back this great epic film of my old man I realize that I always viewed him as a cross between God, Superman, and John Wayne. He was kind, all knowing, all powerful, could fight crime, and kick ass. Not altogether bad traits in a father. I also know, that as he grew older, as life dealt him some harsh blows even before that fucking Stroke Monster took up permanent residence in his brain, that I finally started to see him as he really was...just a guy. But such a very good, very kind, very giving guy. I hope I can live up to that very simple but daunting standard.

I'm sure I'll properly eulogize my Dad at some point. But not now. Too much swirling around for anything to be clear. With four exceptions...

I am so very glad I got him as a father.

I wish I'd been a better son. Not saying I was bad. Just saying I wish I was better.

While I will miss him every day of the rest of my life I am so, so thankful that he isn't hurting anymore...'cause he was hurting alot here at the end.

And my old man could kick John Wayne's ass. Really. Wouldn't even be close.

Comments

[Brother Jake]

So sorry for these tidings, Brother Rik. But so grateful for your caring and thoughtful perspective. As always. We're all here at Casa del Jake thinking and caring for you in return.
And I'm sure I'm not the only one with this sentiment: I'm terrifically thankful (on this and every day) that your old man had _you_.
You let me know when you get back, and I'll fix you and Jill up some oyster stew.

[matt]

Rik, I'm so sorry. Kind thoughts and prayers, in rich abundance. And I'll echo the sentiment that I'm glad for the hand your dad in making you the man you are. Kind thoughts, Rik, kind thoughts.

[Mark Nelson (LA)]

So sorry about the loss of your dad. From your old work family at Edison and Sempra.

[Chad]

Sorry for your loss, man, but I'm glad that you can celebrate having a kick-ass dad. Hope he's having a bullshit contest with the Duke on a cloud right now.

[Miss Bliss]

Oh Rik...I'm so very sorry to hear this. Please give my love to your Mom and know that I'm sending you a big hug.

[Cheryl]

Rik, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. But I never cease to be amazed by your penetration, compassion and your ability to generously appreciate all of those moments and gifts from your father. Know that you are the son I'm sure he wanted. Take care of yourself and my condolences to you and your family.

[Cheryl]

Rik, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. But I never cease to be amazed by your penetration, compassion and your ability to generously appreciate all of those moments and gifts from your father. Know that you are the son I'm sure he wanted. Take care of yourself and my condolences to you and your family.

[Kay Kirscht]

The Jews placed it in October.
I'm calling it The Cull, and placing it right before Thanksgiving.
So much loss - sudden and expected - all over.

I'm sorry you lost your Dad, Rik.
I'm pretty sure your brothers (and your Mom) could kick John Wayne's ass, too.

[Travis]

{{{Rik}}}}

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll have to echo the previous posters who expressed how grateful they were that your Dad helped to give such a profound gift to me and the world as you.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Travis

[Eric Ohlson]

Rik: I am saddened to hear of your families loss. Please pass along my deepest condolences to your Mom and bros. I remember your Dad as a kind, intelligent and generous man. May he rest in peace. Warmest Regards, Eric

[Dougan]

Rik - so sorry that I am just getting to this now. Even sorrier for your loss. Rachel and I send our sincere condolences to you and your family. Know that warm thoughts are with you.